Remember my story? The hunchback? Blaming my parents?
I love my parents but at that time I blamed them for everything. They did not understand me and yet gave me all the support I needed. They thought I failed university because of lack of focus as I was a member of a student fraternity. I might have had lack of focus but the main thing why I failed management studies and statistics was that I had to sit down, study for days and did not understand what I was doing. I only memorised theories to put them down in my own words. No practical approach, no actions related to the theory I was studying. No help but my fraternity brothers who were good at memorising. I was not good at it or interested. And of course, the blame I had were my parents, who else to blame?
To cut a long story short, me failing university opened up something in my brain. I realised that what I really wanted is to be able to do what I enjoyed doing. Not what I thought others would like me to do. I needed to understand what I wanted to do, which was very similar to what I thought my parents wanted me to do. Also, I needed to stop blaming my parents for everything but understand that I was in charge of my own life.
That’s a bit revelation for a 20 something. Some never question that, some never get into the situation but I did. And there were reasons for that later in my life.
Hence I needed to change. I needed to open up, stand upright and become myself. I went through this personal development exercise. Whilst I can write in few lines that I had to discover that I am responsible for my own destiny, that I am the one to blame and that whatever my parents had done to me did not matter moving forward (and all they did was trying to help), this process took a while. To discover oneself takes a while. And you might need guidance and help. A mentor or a friend. You know what I did?
I started living in the now. I started living with a vision of what I wanted to do. I stood up. Started jogging and became healthy. I stopped smoking from one day to the next, I kicked a 60 cigarettes habit in a day and sat down and focused on what was important. I walked upright! However, I […] ended up moving to Scotland a few years later and did my bachelor and got a 1st class degree. One reason was that I had a more practical approach and the other one by learning in two languages things sank in a lot better. I smoked a bit on and off over the years but finally stopped for good years later but the odd indulgence of a fine cigar.
You realise a pattern. Over 10 years ago I started a journey of discovering the NOW and realising that only I can change my life. I am in the driver’s seat of my destiny and I need to do something that excites me. Something I choose to do. A passion.
Everyone should live their passion. You should never have to work a day in your life again. Enjoy what you are doing and live your own life.
Breaking free from this isn’t easy. But I can help you.
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