This is the final chapter of my book I will make available on the blog. It is split into five parts to give you a chunk size reading each week.
A very common ‘communication tool’ is NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming, O’Connor, Joseph and Seymour, John (1990), Introducing NLP, Psychological Skills for Understanding and Influencing People, Harper Collins Publishing). A theory developed to help schizophrenic people in the seventies, it soon became standard for personal development and an add on to psychotherapy.
I have (self) studied NLP since 1998 and in 2003 obtained both my Practitioner and Master Practitioner course in line with a course called DBM (Development of Behavioural Models, Sensory Systems Ltd., Glasgow, http://sensorysystems.co.uk/) focusing on hands on, helpful NLP techniques.
Now the book by O’Connor and Seymour which I referenced is probably one of the best beginner books I have read so far. The basics of NLP are around your perception of the world. You would as an individual have a map of the world which overlays your senses. A classic example is if you start looking for beetle cars, you soon will see beetle cars all over the country as you filter them out.
There are no more or less cars around after you decided to focus on them, but by filtering them, you decide on making them stick out for you. The same happens for positive or negative words, if you want to hear only the negative then you will filter that out, start an argument and be in trouble.
You are the only one that can decide what you focus on.
You decide what you want to do in life.
How do you want to see the world? What is important to you?
The stages of learning, now commonly known, are one of the basics of NLP:
1. Unconscious Incompetence
2. Conscious Incompetence
3. Conscious Competence
4. Unconscious Competence
With anything we do in life, in my case selling a product, we go through this process. We start by not being aware of our incompetence, then being aware of it, then improving it to being aware of our competence and then it becomes a routine and we are not even aware of our competence. Driving a car is another good example, selling a product for years, anything you just become good at.
Can you think of other examples that spring to mind. Cycling, building, crafting, running, exercising…..
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